12 Questions You Shouldn’t Ask Me (But Did Anyway)

I used to give questionable advice in high school, let’s see if I have gotten any better

This whole Substack started because of my infamous “Guru Nandini Says” column in high school, where I gave chaotic advice to classmates. I once got asked the correct number of boys to kiss at a school dance. I invented a math formula. It equaled 14. Still stand by it. The column, however, got shut down after 3 weeks by the trustees of Exeter, so every now and then I like to resurrect this advice column energy.

Maybe I've matured? Probably not. But people submitted questions two weeks ago and I'm finally getting around to answering them. Better late than never, right? Just like those of you who STILL haven't downloaded Sitch after hearing me talk about it for a literal year. It's fine. I'm not bitter. (code is still DINI to skip the waitlist)

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Q1: Your friend J**** ghosted me. Can you yell at him?

Firstly, I love that this question was submitted lol. Consider that handled.

But real talk - ghosting is such trash behavior. It's SO EASY to just send a text saying "hey, not feeling it" but people find it impossible to close doors. They’d rather leave you on read just in case they want to circle back six weeks later. It’s not about you—it’s about their FOMO.

Q2: I'm just trying to lock down a garba partner rn. Any thoughts?

Ugh, I feel this. Holiday season makes the absence of a partner feel like a gaping wound, especially when your family is asking intrusive questions and everyone's posting couple pics looking disgustingly happy.

But rushing into something just to have a plus-one for events is a disaster waiting to happen. We're all so obsessed with the aesthetics of relationships - the cute couple pics, the wedding, the "boyfriend" title - that we forget the whole point is finding someone you actually want to spend your LIFE with. And you can't and should not rush that.

*me watching people couple up before every major holiday just to break up in January*

Q3: Honestly how do you manage it all?

Google Calendar and a brick phone, babyyyy. I literally plan my life down to the minute and see my friends on a strict weekly/fortnightly/monthly rotation. I block social media on my phone during my most productive hours (early morning and late night) because otherwise I'd just be doom-scrolling.

Also, having had the same partner for almost 7 years (wtf, how did that happen?) I have to say that the mental freedom of a stable relationship cannot be overstated. Dating is such a MASSIVE mind-space. Time to outsource it...

Q4: In your opinion what does the best dating app profile look like?

The problem is that with regular swiping apps, you have to play this stupid game.

As a dude, you need to present yourself as successful, ambitious, and family-oriented - which means pictures in a suit, maybe giving a speech, and definitely with a puppy to show you could theoretically keep another living thing alive.

As a woman, you need to look like the emotional support carer that you are - pictures with nieces/nephews (but GOD FORBID any Forbes 30 Under 30 mentions), natural makeup, no mirror selfies, and of course a "casual" body shot that took 47 attempts to get right.

It’s a bait and switch - because you need them to swipe before you can reveal that you have actual depth and dimensions. Marketing yourself on a dating app is hard and I wrote a whole piece with data to back it up!

Q5: Weight struggles? You seem to eat out every meal but still are fit????

Girl I feel you; I've battled with my weight for a decade, and here's what finally works for me:

- No drinking (I know, I KNOW)

- 75 minutes of daily movement (Pilates/weights + cardio - ideally with a friend)

- Intermittent fasting until noon

- Healthy lunches from Sakara so at least one meal a day isn't trash

But I'm a big believer in eating whatever the hell you want on vacation and then having periods where you really moderate. Life's too short to not eat 23 croissants in 5 days in Paris.

THE PARIS HOT LIST ❤️‍🔥🇫🇷

Q6: What questions should we ask if we're aligned with someone on a date?

Keep reading for my takes on intimacy, makeup, bad kisses, and yes, how to actually spot a 6’0 PE guy in the wild…