A Legacy of Love
A tribute to my grandfather, my inspiration, who leaves behind incomparably large shoes. I will miss him dearly. Thank you for letting me share my memories with you ❤️
I think my grandmother invented the original dating app filters.
She told her brothers that she wanted to marry the person who scored the highest in the exams across one of the three colleges in Calcutta, and that he had to be tall. She got her wish: she married a man who was 6 feet tall and had two gold medals. And they had 63 wonderful years together.
Most people will remember SM Datta, my grandfather, as a corporate legend, the chairman of Hindustan Lever, the magician of mergers. The obituaries in the various financial newspapers remember his lasting legacy on corporate India, on the IIMs, on the FMCG sector, and the messages and Linkedin Posts from former employees and mentees talk about his humility, leadership, and if they were lucky enough to hear them, his incredible speeches that were all handwritten by himself. They all remember that even at 91, his counsel was so indispensable that if he couldn't make a board meeting, they would call it off until he was better.
But to me he was just Dadu.
I didn't know about his many, many achievements until I was much older. Mainly because he never talked about them; he was much more interested in the lives of everyone around him, and how he could help them. I knew him as the calm guiding force on the troubled waters of my teens. The worst fight that I ever had with my parents—my grandfather was the only person I knew who could salvage the situation. So, after six hours of screaming and shouting and slamming doors, it was my grandfather who came to make peace in the house.
Dadu would make the same joke every year on my birthday, that maybe this year Shanti would come home. (My Bengali name is Shanti, which means peace, of which I am the exact opposite.)
Dadu would always check in on how my company was doing—and ask what the numbers were, and he would remind me to pray before the big and little moments. He knew how to give each of his grandchildren, and each of his children what they were looking for. He never tried to change us, nag us, or berate us—instead he would gently ask questions, and ask us to help him understand our decision making. And more than that, he knew how to love us unreservedly for exactly who we were.
The ones we love never truly leave us; we know them so well that we carry their voices inside of us along the way. Of course, I will hear his voice giving me advice as I try another crazy marketing idea—he was the king of rural marketing and the Rs. 5 sachet; and I will hear it when I begrudgingly look over my financial model (companies are not built on vibes sadly), and of course, I will hear it when there is a choice between what is right and what is easy. My grandfather was the paragon of honesty.
But I will hear it the loudest, not when I am making business decisions but when Sahil is irritating me for the 100th time in the week, and I want to scream at him. Because, of all his legacies, the greatest one is my Dadu's unfailing devotion and love to my Mamoni. And that's the one that I hope to carry on.
Love is not about a large pear shaped engagement ring or a big wedding in Vogue, but about building a meaningful life with someone who you want to be holding your hand till the very, very end.
I will remember him rushing to find my grandmother as soon as he got a FaceTime from one of us, so she wouldn't miss a second of talking to her darling grandchildren.
I will remember the man who made good on his promise to my grandmother of showing her the world, when they didn't get to go on a honeymoon, and took her to 100+ countries.
I will always remember that his last act of service in the hospital was making my grandmother one final cup of tea.
How lucky I am to have had 30 years to learn from him and be loved by him.
XOXO
Nandini (aka Shanti)
Made me think of my grandparents and how important they were in my life. Also, how their words stay with me. I am a grandmother and this is how I hope to be with my sweet grandson. Thank you for sharing. How lucky you are to have had them.
So touching, thank you for sharing ❤️