Scorpios, St. Tropez and the secrets of Euro Summer

New York is a ghost town! But here’s what your summer vacation spot says about you and your boo.

If you’ve been following my Instagram, then you know that I have already gone to Paris twice this summer (see my Paris guide here!), been in a viral video at the Olympics opening ceremony, attended 3 weddings in Europe, and done a girls trip to Copenhagen (see my Cope guide here!). I almost feel guilty writing all of that out given that I do have a full-time job oops - but since my cofounder reads this, let me add a disclaimer: I swear I’ve been working through this all!

But given how much time I have spent in the hellhole that is JFK, I’ve been observing at all my fellow travelers in the never-ending security line and in the long ass immigration queue on the way back, and wondering why did they choose the spots they went to this summer?  So here’s the tea on what their IG story really means

let’s get into it

If he’s on a family trip with his family friend lovingly know to her friends as Bunny who grew up going to the same Connecticut country club as him…He is going to marry HER, not you. You can pretend that you guys are in love, but you are only play acting as a Park Avenue princess. He would never actually end up with someone who didn’t go to Spence, doesn’t play golf with a handicap, and study Art History in Middlebury.

If she’s posting solo shots from St Tropez, with daily table service, and unnecessarily large yachts, with seemingly no one else present except other model-esque girls who she is clearly not friends with…She’s being flown out. Take care of yourself, king - she has a sugar daddy who is providing her the lifestyle she wants so unless the stock market recovers pretty soon (RIP), and you can atleast take her to dinner at ZZ’s, don’t reply to her insta story with a fire emoji.   

byeeeeee

If he’s on a solo trip to Copenhagen, for a last minute reservation at Noma before it closes….He’s going to marry the next girl he dates. This man has been consistently going to therapy, has watched his best friends settle down and become dads, and now he is itching for it to be his turn. If you see him wax poetic about his trip, slide into his DMs if you want to a husband.  Maybe he will even make you dinner with dashi from Noma Projects.

If he was at Kleinmusic at Scorpios last night with the boys…He is NOT thinking about you.