Work VS. Love VS. Friends

The subtle art of pretending to balance it all

I will be back to dating content starting this Sunday (with 4 questions to see if he is a good guy, stay tuned) but this was top of mind, and is hopefully helpful :)

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We’re all trying to juggle the impossible trifecta of careers, romantic relationships, and friendships. And if you're anything like me, you're constantly feeling like you're letting at least one of them down at any given moment.

Women tend to over-index on romantic relationships in their 20s (or at least while they’re single), while men typically prioritize their careers at the cost of everything else (*cough private equity cough*). But all three need to exist simultaneously for you to feel like a functioning human being, who isn’t spiraling into an existential crisis every other Tuesday.

So after a very hectic Q1 of canceling plans, pulling all nighters, fighting with my favorite people, and occasionally crying in bathroom stalls, I've developed some rules for navigating this impossible trio.

RULE #1: JUST THREE THINGS

Life can feel like a never-ending to-do list across all these domains. My solution? The three things rule. Each day, I only need to accomplish three important things. That's it. They can all be work-related, all friendship-related, all relationship-related, or a mix. But limiting it to three makes life feel manageable instead of overwhelming.

Today my three things were: design the next sitch billboard, hire a product designer , and plan my besties bachelorette. Tomorrow it might be completely different. But three is doable. Three doesn't make me want to scream into the void.

RULE #2: NON-NEGOTIABLE RITUALS

I’ve built sacred rituals that I refuse to compromise on. Wednesday is date night, and I will leave work early or say no to events to protect it. Friday nights are always girls nights. My phone is on DND from 6am to 9am because that's my productive solo work time, and honestly, even if your house is literally on fire, I will not be available to help.

These boundaries aren't selfish - they're necessary. They're the scaffolding that holds everything else together. Without them, I'd just be constantly reacting to whichever part of my life is screaming the loudest for my attention, rather than being deliberate about how I spend time.

RULE #3: TEXT YOUR THOUGHTS

When someone crosses your mind, let them know - whether it's your partner, friend, coworker, or mentor. That random "saw this and thought of you" text can be the difference between a relationship that fades and one that endures.

Never stop dating your partner. Never stop showing up for your friends. Never stop expressing gratitude to your mentors. These tiny moments of connection are what actually build relationships, not the grand gestures. And they fill the gaps when you don’t have time to actually see this person and properly catch up!

RULE #4: CAREER MILESTONES DESERVE THE SAME CELEBRATION AS WEDDINGS

Why do we send flowers and throw parties for engagements and weddings but just a "congrats" text while half-watching Netflix when someone lands their dream job or gets a massive promotion? My best friend became chief resident this week - that's YEARS of grueling work, sacrifice, and literal life-saving skills. And I can’t wait to celebrate her!

I'm not saying don't celebrate love - I'm saying celebrate EVERYTHING with equal enthusiasm. Got a promotion? Send champagne. Closed a major deal? That deserves a dinner celebration. Won a pulitzer? I'm posting about it just as enthusiastically as I would your engagement photos.

RULE #5: NEVER CANCEL FOR A FIRST DATE