Help me, I'm bored.

Things and people that bore me, and need to blow up my life.

I usually write something funny and quippy about dating in New York, but on Saturday when I sat down to write, I realized I had nothing fun to say. Maybe it is because it is way too cold to function and we’re all sitting at home bundled up (so no one is going to any of the places I told you to flirt at this winter). Maybe it’s because I’m having withdrawal from the 6 weekends of back to back weddings that I just had. But mostly, it’s because I’m bored.

I’m bored of the algorithms. My algorithm keeps showing me the same aesthetic thing on repeat (pilates, matcha, flowers, blue waters of the Mediterranean, dirty martinis, a super yacht). I keep hearing the same song over and over again. And I keep hoping that I will find something life changing, but two hours of brain rot later, I still have not found it. Content that does well has to play to the lowest common denominator, and it’s largely not interesting. And I have bought a brick so I scroll less, and write/think/create more.

I’m bored of being told what to do, what to buy and what to eat. My feed is full of people trying to convince me that something is worth buying, and worth eating (it was usually most definitely not). A recommendation from a friend I can get behind. I don’t know you, random person on the internet, so why would I trust (or care) that this is the best chocolate croissant of your life. I’ve been unfollowing people like crazy - especially when they keep promoting brands that I know they aren’t using or places they’re being paid to go to (Maison Close sucks, you can’t convince me otherwise).

I’m bored of basics and capsule wardrobes. I don’t want another classic black work bag or a Le Specs sunglasses that go with everything (but add exactly nothing). I actually hate basics, I love color and and funky patterns and pieces that are super unique. I want to wear cheetah print all the time - and hot pink, and feathers.

fun winter coats ONLY.

I’m bored of tools to make me more productive. I fear this is a consequence of building products for the newly red-pilled SF tech bro. I don’t want yet another calendar tool that can optimize my time for me or a way to go through my email faster.I don’t want to know how to be a one person creative studio and cut my marketing costs, I want someone to use AI to turn Harry Potter fan fic into movies so I have something truly entertaining for all this extra time I’m supposedly getting back now that the bots (finally) can replace us.

I’m bored of chasing a good night. I hate that feeling of waiting for the DJ to play a good song, of looking around the room and seeing that there is not even one person who I would want to speak to.

I’m bored of first interactions. The first couple of times you meet someone and it feels like an interview, you go through your life history for what feels like the 100th time. I like dinners with friends where the conversation goes from promoter culture to Gaza to Triangle of Sadness. Can we normalize just saying, ‘Nice to meet you” and not exchanging numbers, or worse Instagrams, with people who you know you are never really going to meet again.

down with group dinners!

I’m just bored of feeling like I need to trying something new. Because despite the internet’s obsession with trying to discover and share this new place, product or person that I just ‘need’ to experience, the problem with seeking something new and exciting is that you are so often disappointed by what you find on the other end of it.

I feel like I can maybe draw this back to dating and tell you how going on swiping apps keep you hooked because the unlimited pool of candidates (even though they don’t even live in your city, thanks Raya!) gives you that bit of hope that you’ll find something new and exciting if you just swipe and scroll long enough, hard enough; but this is bigger than dating.

We like the things we like. And there is no shame in it. We have comfort in going back to the places and people we love - we know that they will make us feel a baseline level of good, that they are guaranteed to give me a hit.

more vegetable arrangements!

I don’t have that many resolutions, and big changes to make this year. I love my husband, my friends; I have finally found the right job and right cofounder; I spend 10 months in New York, with December in India and July in Paris; I FaceTime my grandparents on Sunday nights. I don’t feel the crushing need to shake it all up and go back to the drawing board. There is an air of predictability and routine that is settling in. I wonder if this is what being in your 30s feels like? If so, I think I love it.

But then there is the unexpected thrill - when you weren’t seeking something and there in the middle of your usual happy routine, it comes and finds you.

Reading the same book as the person sitting opposite you on Gem on a Saturday morning (maybe this is the start of a book club with someone who has the same taste as you?)

Going to a wedding where you think you know everyone but then being absolutely surprised to find someone who you have fireworks of a conversation with (it doesn’t matter that you both are in relationships, and that you are too clever and practical to blow up your lives for each other).

Jumping on the stage to do Karoake with your best friends in the middle of a wedding reception you thought was going to be a dull affair.

The phone call from a friend where they share something so juicy and thought provoking. A song you love playing in the coffee ship on a shitty morning. Running into someone from your past.

I feel most alive when I am perfectly surprised. And the truth is that no algorithm, no calendaring hack, no ShopMy link can really manufacture that.